Kelly - Psalm 13

This psalm, like my faith, is a constant struggle between raw human emotion and human intellect and rationality. It begins with pure pain. "How long?!" The anguish makes sense to me...it's not lack of faith, not denial of our role in God's world, but a very human plea for relief.

The end of the Psalm shows intellect taking over. It doesn't delete or diminish the pain, but it reminds me that there is more to faith than the way I "feel" about it. Trust and Remembrance. God has been good to me, I remember. I trust God.

One of the reasons I love the church is that we are all meshed in here together. And when one cries out in pain, another may be in the midst of joy. And we remind each other that there is more to the story than what we are experiencing right now. We hear the stories of each other, we remember our own stories over the years, and we learn from the stories of those around us...and the corporate history of the church.

When I cry out in pain, I stand in awe of people like Vic and Elsa - who have had strong faith for decades. Who have weathered many storms of faith, have cried out on their own and together, have been through upheavals of church before. I do not know their full stories, but I know that they are here...that they come each week because they know the truth of God. They have felt anguish, joy, and have understanding and trust in God.

And in the midst of those people, even when I cry out "How Long?!" I can stand in the church and "my heart can rejoice in my salvation"