Kelly - Proverbs 14

Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief (v. 13)

I am notoriously bad at hiding my emotions. Growing up, I was always the one who got in trouble when we had both done something wrong - because I telegraphed my guilt on my face. Many teachers have told me that they like having me in their line of sight, because when something isn't clear my puzzlement is plain for them to see - so they can slow down and explain again. I also show the excitement of understanding pretty well. I have teared up in parent-teacher conferences and in conversations with people I barely know.

But I have learned to "play the role" when necessary. I have learned to put myself aside and smile and joke in a crowd. I am an introvert by nature and would much rather sit with a friend over tea - but jump into a large group because I have practiced it. But it wears me out and I require a nap afterwards.

So in my "practiced" shallow laughter, I know that my heart can ache. I can put "me" aside and laugh in the crowd.

What about deep, honest laughter? Can that co-exist with heartache? I can't think of any personal experience of that...but if it can, that would seem to me to be a great gift of God. In the midst of pain - without denying the pain - to know true laughter - what a blessing.