Kelly -Proverbs 24

The first verse of today's chapter struck me - in a way that it probably doesn't strike the guys. "Do not desire the company of wicked men."

Ah - the "bad boys" - I must admit that part of me finds them intriguing. I started dating Marcus my freshman year in college - and married him months after he finished his bachelor's. He is good and earnest and trustworthy and caring and tender. But he is anything but a "bad boy." And though I certainly wouldn't want to share my life withe one...I wonder what I might be like if I had dated one for a few months.

The chapter goes on to talk about generally following the right paths and avoiding the "rebellious". I never really rebelled as a teenager (unless you count letting my grades slip because I insisted on going on a church retreat). And as my own children grow older, I wonder about the role rebellion plays in our culture. Is it a developmental necessity? Differentiation from one's parents is...but must that be rebellion? Is the rebellious teenager part of the American/Western reality - an artificical hiccup in the family support system that is preyed upon and expanded by media and marketing?

And I must admit that I often feel a bit like a petulant child - eager to rebel against God's will for my life. That whole "I know what's best for you" thing gets irksome from my parents, and irksome from God. And though I am loved and God truly does know better than I do (while my parents may not always) - I don't like the idea and want to stomp my feet in protest. I think this strikes pretty close to my current faith struggles - trying to figure out where God wants me and how God wants me to spend my time. And when I get a glimpse of that, stomping my feet in irritation and declaring that it may not be what I want. I want freedom - and God gives guidance and love.

And, yes, I know that true freedom lies in Christ's love and that the sayings of the wise are good guidance and all the rest. I can intellectually and faithfully see the truth of the Gospel and of proverbs. But today, and many days, I feel like a petulant child in God's care - arrogantly wanting to go it on my own.